Hey, this is Rajiv Kumar Luv Trainer, Coach, Workshop leader, Author, podcaster, Youtuber and founder of The Personality Boss which conducts the Ultimate Personality Development Program, Course, Coaching, Training and Workshops in Mumbai. I help you design the life you want. The articles that I post on my blog also have one purpose in mind “Leadership through Personality Development” Now over to the article…
Learning to say No is an important life skill and crucial for maintaining a balanced life. We say yes to others because we want to please them, but remember, we cannot please everyone, even god can’t do that and we are just humans. We have to learn to say No to things we don’t want to do. If you don’t respect yourself, then your friends, co-workers, classmates, peers and even family members will not respect you. The two letter word ‘NO’ can reduce your stress levels drastically. Here are some suggestion on how to say ‘No’ Here we go…
1. You have a right to say No
Don’t feel guilty about saying No. In fact, if you don’t say No where you should have then chances are others might not respect you because of it. Don’t let anyone try to manipulate you into doing what they want if you have already said ‘No"
2. Be polite
Tell in a calm, even voice. Use the same voice that you would use to speak to someone on the phone. Be firm, calm and clear. If you sound emotional, confused or upset then the other person will sense your weakness and will try to exploit you. Practice saying the word No a few times, No, No, No Make sure the voice doesn’t sound aggressive or submissive.
3. Assertive Body Language
Stand tall and keep your arms at the sides or use gestures to emphasize your words. Make eye contact with the person as you say ‘No’ to show that you mean business. Don’t fidget or play with your hands or jewellery, or you will look insincere about your decision. Don’t fold your arms over your chest.
4. Explain why you can’t do it
Giving a brief explanation can make the person understand why you can’t do the thing he wants you to do. You don’t have to be excessive about it, but giving just a sentence or two of explanation can help the person see that you have too much going on to complete the task. You don’t have to lie or make up excuses. Just be honest. Here are some explanations for why you can’t do something: I have other priorities I am not the right person to do this
5. Give alternatives
If you still feel guilty about saying no and truly do wish you could help the person, then you can try to give some other solutions for what can be done. Give names of people who can do it better You will do it when you finish your priorities
6. Use the broken record technique
What happens when the needle gets stuck on a record, it keep playing the same piece of music over and over again. Similarly, When someone persists, repeat your position, perhaps in a slightly different way. (“As I already said, it would be difficult to help you with the project as I have my own priorities to take care of.” Everytime, someone keeps making the request in different ways, keep repeating the same response.
7. Think of all of the things you’re saying “yes” to when you say “no.”
You don’t have to look at saying “no” as a negative thing. If you’re saying “no” to doing more work, you’re saying “yes” to a variety of things that will benefit your life. If you think of all of the things that will be better off from you saying “no,” you will feel less guilty. Here are a few of them: you are saying yes to your own personal priorities you are saying yes to what you want in life you are saying yest to good health and happiness you are saying yes to peace of mind
8. Don’t get intimidated by tactics
People will use various tactics to get you to say yes. If you can recognize the different methods that people use to manipulate you then it will be easier for you to say No. Always stick to your plan, your goals and strategies. Some tactics people will use are bullying, whining, guilting and complementing so No matter how many reasons they have to try and change your mind, if you’ve already said “no” and given them your reasons for doing so, it’s OK to walk away.
I am Rajiv Kumar Luv. My passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of people so that they achieve their personal as well as professional best. I am absolutely committed to specially helping youngsters become leaders in their chosen fields. In the past 28 years, I have trained over 100,000 people from all walks of life. Through my two-day program “Leadership Through Personality Development” I help the youth plan their career, build confidence, make better decisions, manage time and develop their employability skills to meet today’s real-life challenges. You can learn more about me and the work I do by visiting: http://www.thepersonalityboss.com