Hey, this is Rajiv Kumar Luv Trainer, Coach, Workshop leader, Author, podcaster, Youtuber and founder of The Personality Boss which conducts the Ultimate Personality Development Program, Course, Coaching, Training and Workshops in Mumbai. I help you design the life you want. The articles that I post on my blog also have one purpose in mind “Leadership through Personality Development” Now over to the article…

It is said that only dead people have no problems. So we can conclude that people who are alive will have problems or a better perspective will be, “If I have a problem, it means I am alive.” So if we can’t avoid problems, it would be a better idea to learn to deal with them in a more effective manner. Here are four simple steps.

When I look back on my life, I find that’s very true. I was 33 years of age, newly married, an 18 month old baby and his mother to look after, no source of income as I had parted ways with my business partner due to differences on how to run the business and to top it all I was undergoing radiation treatment for cancer, how would you react if you found yourself in such a situation?

I remember the day I bid my business partner an unpleasant goodbye and as I took a bus back home, it should have been a depressive journey after what had happened, but I was shocked by my own behaviour, I was in the bus, next to a window, I could feel the cool breeze caressing my face and I was happily singing a Hindi song, “Chodo Kal ki Baten” which roughly translated to “Let go of the talk of yesterday. Yesterday’s talk is by gone”. That night I had my dinner and went to sleep like a baby as if nothing had happened. I didn’t mention any of this to my wife. The next day in the evening I went to a nearby Institute to give a talk to a group of students on the subject of “Positive Attitude.” And the following day I treated myself to a visit to an Amusement Park. I went there alone and freaked out on the rides. I could feel the freedom. The seed of becoming a trainer had already been planted in me and it had taken some roots, it was time to nurture that plant.

What is the most common way people react when they come across problems?

They might talk to themselves something like, “Why do these horrible things always happen to me?” “Why me?” “What have I done to deserve this?” Take a minute to reflect, what do you say to yourself when you come across problems?

Change the way you talk to yourself, so whenever you get a problem, the first thing you say is “Rajiv, very good, you have a problem” then say, “Rajiv, what’s great about this problem?” “What can I learn from this problem?” “What action can I take on this problem?”

Stop pitying yourself, proactively, look for answers, what’s great about this problem, initially you might not get answers but when you persist, slowly yet surely you will start getting answers, like, you can think what you want, you can go where you want, you can sleep when you want, you can read what you want, you can earn what you want, you can be who you want, you can have what you want, you can do what you want……..

The next steps ask, “What can I learn from this problem?” When I asked this question, these are some answers I got.

Never do business with relatives again, I need to take up responsibility and accountability for my life, I need to learn, I should do what I really love doing, beware of sweet talkers…

Finally, “What action can I take on this problem?” Join a public speaking course, Learn all the skills required to become an excellent trainer, Go and meet people and spread the message about what you do, Read books, Go to seminars, Listen to audiotapes…..

So next time you come across a real serious problem, go through these simple four steps and do yourself a big favour.

I am Rajiv Kumar Luv. My passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of people so that they achieve their personal as well as professional best. I am absolutely committed to specially helping youngsters become leaders in their chosen fields. In the past 28 years, I have trained over 100,000 people from all walks of life. Through my two-day program “Leadership Through Personality Development” I help the youth plan their career, build confidence, make better decisions, manage time and develop their employability skills to meet today’s real-life challenges. You can learn more about me and the work I do by visiting: http://www.thepersonalityboss.com